The Bark Side Chronicles: (Chapter 12) - The Great Heist: Mesa’s Life of Crime. Dog Training Tips
- Happy Paw'llidays Admin
- Aug 9
- 6 min read
Updated: Aug 30
"Some treasures can’t be locked away… especially if they squeak."
-Jedi Wisdom From My Dog: Dog Training Tips
THE FIRST RULE ABOUT HEIST CLUB: YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT HEIST CLUB
It always starts innocently enough.
Milo will be stretched out in a patch of afternoon sunlight or in his favorite spot, legs sprawled like he owns the place (which, let’s face it, he does). In his mouth, his prize — a slightly worn, slightly damp squeaky toy that he’s been nursing for the better part of an hour. He chews in that slow, rhythmic way that says, This is my moment. My peace.
But peace never lasts long in this house.
A shadow creeps across the rug.
Enter Mesa.
She’s not bouncing in like a hyper puppy. No, her approach is calculated — deliberate. Her eyes narrow. Her ears tilt forward. Her tail swishes in slow, predatory arcs. She’s mapping out the angles like she’s about to rob the Bellagio with Oceans Seven. <- movie quote. Watch it, it's pretty good.
Milo senses her presence but refuses to react. He’s the stoic guard in front of the palace gates. If he doesn’t move, maybe she’ll just keep walking. But of course she doesn’t.
The Art of the Steal
Mesa doesn’t simply take toys. She acquires them through a series of perfected methods:
The Silent Swipe: Wait for Milo to glance at the door, shift his paw, or sigh. Move in. Lift toy. Exit stage left.
The Bold Snatch: No pretense, no warm-up. Just grab it mid-chew and run like your life depends on it.
The Trojan Bone: Drop a decoy toy at Milo’s feet. When his nose dips down to inspect, grab the original and disappear.
The Decoy Sneeze: Fake a playful pounce, nudge his side, make him sneeze (Mesa swears she can time this), and bam — the prize is gone.
The Backwards Boop: Approach like you’re coming for a cuddle, butt wiggle included… then whip around and snatch it right from his mouth.
The Great Escape
Once the heist is complete, the getaway is a spectacle.
Mesa’s off like a rocket, toy dangling triumphantly. Milo springs into action, paws pounding like a war drum.
They launch into the Canine Grand Prix — looping the coffee table, cutting through the hallway, sliding across the kitchen tile, then back into the living room. Milo’s longer legs should win him the race, but Mesa’s turns are tighter, her feints sharper.
It’s a chase that’s not really about winning. It’s about not losing yet.
The Security System
Then there’s Mila.
Mila doesn’t do toys. Toys are beneath her. She’s an older, wiser ruler who prefers soft pillows and quiet afternoons. However she is not opposed to hoarding dental and bully sticks atop he couch fortress. She waits observing the distraction. All the sudden you look over and she has all 3 Oinkies laying next to her. Clever she is.
But Mila also has a personal boundary — a clearly marked no-fly zone around her pillow fortress. If the chase crosses that sacred perimeter, she transforms from a peaceful monarch into the canine version of airport security.
A bark. A snap. One stern glare that could scatter them like pigeons at a park.
Within seconds, Milo and Mesa scatter, the toy abandoned. Mila resumes her nap like nothing happened, confident that order has been restored and she is +2 oinkies.
Special Ops: Black Goose Down
The living room was silent. Too silent.
Milo sat pressed into the corner between the couch and the wall, his paws protectively wrapped around his prize — the black plush goose. Its once-pristine feathers were now matted from hours of chewing, but the squeaker inside still gave a defiant honk whenever pressed.
Across the carpet, Mesa crouched low, her eyes locked on the target. Operation Extraction was a go.
“Milo,” she seemed to say with her gaze, “hand over the goose and no one gets hurt.”
Milo’s jaw tightened. “Over my dead chew toy.”
Mesa began her advance, moving with slow, deliberate steps. She’d tried the quick snatch before and failed — Milo’s defensive skills were legendary. This required precision. Strategy. Nerves of steel.
She circled left. Milo shifted right, eyes never leaving hers. The goose dangled just out of reach.
Mesa made her move — a sudden feint to the side, then a lightning-fast paw hook toward the goose. But Milo was ready, swinging his head and tucking the toy beneath his chest like a running back guarding the game-winning ball.
The two locked eyes, breathing hard.
Mesa tilted her head, playing innocent. Then, in the blink of an eye, she launched into her most dangerous tactic — the Paw Feint & Squeak Distract. Her paw shot toward a stray tennis ball in the corner, giving it a sharp nudge. It rolled just enough to make Milo glance away.
That was all she needed.
With the precision of a seasoned thief, Mesa hooked the goose from under Milo’s paws and bolted down the hallway, the honk of the squeaker echoing like a victory horn.
Milo scrambled after her, the chase thundering through the house, but deep down, he knew: "The black goose had fallen."
"I repeat the BLACK GOOSE has fallen."
Suspect Interviews (Transcript Excerpts)
Mesa (Suspect #1):"If Milo really wanted to keep it, he wouldn’t let me take it. Clearly, he wants me to have it. Also, possession is nine-tenths of the law… I think."
Milo (Victim/Witness):"I’m not saying I mind the chase, but sometimes a guy just wants to chew in peace. Is that too much to ask?!"
Mila (Uninvolved Party / Security Chief):"They can do what they want as long as they stay out of my space. If they don’t, they answer to me. Simple as that."
Surveillance Report
3:47 PM: Mesa begins approach. Milo distracted by paw itch. Acquisition successful.
3:48 PM: Pursuit initiated. Three barks, one growl.
3:49 PM: Mila activates perimeter defense. Bark volume reaches 85 decibels.
3:50 PM: Toy abandoned. Subjects disengage. Peace restored.
3:52 PM: Milo has new toy....Wash , Rinse , Repeat.
The Human’s Perspective
To the untrained eye, it’s chaos. To me, it’s a daily reminder that relationships — even between dogs — are built on shared experiences, not just shared space. These are hidden dog training tips that are plain to see if you know where to look.
Yes, I get annoyed when toys are shredded like confetti. Yes, I’ve stepped on a chewed rubber bone at 2 a.m. and questioned my life choices. But watching them interact — the calculated theft, the playful chase, the grudging surrender — it’s like watching their personalities in pure, unfiltered motion.
The Heart of the Game
The toys are replaceable. The squeakers eventually die. The stuffing eventually explodes in a dramatic “snowfall” across the carpet.
But the joy? That sticks around.
For Milo and Mesa, these games are more than just playtime. They’re rituals. They’re inside jokes that need no words. They’re the kind of bonding moments that build trust — even if that trust includes an unspoken agreement to steal from each other on a daily basis.
Takeaway...And Something to Remember
Sometimes, it’s not about the prize at all. It’s about the chase, the laughter, and the connection that happens in between.
Toys get shredded. Favorites get stolen. Borders get tested. But at the end of the day, they collapse together in the middle of the living room, panting and happy, surrounded by the day’s spoils.
Because the best things in life aren’t what you hold onto. They’re the moments you share.
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